Joined 20-08-2019 14:52
Today, I got a letter summoning me to court for leaving the scene of a car accident I had in London. I live in Manchester and don't own a car.
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four.
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless.